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Forgetting Forgotten Lovers

Unity -- 35mm color

They say the opposit of love is indifference.  I am NOT indifferent to that man.

My Love

My love he kills me with each mournful glance

To disdain my heart and mind of chance

To despair my lips and words heartfelt

For as the moment passes the truth shall melt

My love he questions all my mind

From bitter freedom to passion unkind

He sees my weakness, my despondency

He sees my anger and loves not me

He no longer watches the pure blue skies

He no longer sees truth behind my lies

He cannot feel patience for my burning heart

He can no longer love me, and we shall part.

My love, he knows not anything

Not voices of angels as robins sing

He knows nothing of lust and color set free

He knows nothing of sadness, nothing of me

My love he thinks with one true mind

True not to his heart yet never unkind

He sees nothing of beauty, taste, not of class

He sees nothing of value in artists at last.

My love he knows me not, I fear

Not for one moment, never in years

He knows not my misfortune, not of my shame

He knows nothing of evil and all thats profane

I know my love in my true heart

I love him not, and thus we part.

True Lust -- 35mm color

Salem --- pencil

I wake up with you lingering in my mind.

Your taste reminds me that you were never here at all

and my heart once again sinks with the loss of your touch.

If only I could sleep for all of the day.

If only I could stay in your arms and with you inside of me so deep,

but I cannot sleep all of the time.

I must wake up to the barren landscape of my life and

once again lament the emptiness you left me.


Sometimes I wish I had never met you.

Before you there was nothing but art in my life.

Fleeting romances with my imagination,

turbulent desires for something I couldnt have.

Then, at least, I knew I wasnt capable.

I knew that I was doomed to a life of loneliness,

That my heart would not open to another person.

That I could only find what I expected to find in men...

An amusing diversion,

More stability than I possess alone.

With you though,

With you the world opened up around me.

I found more feeling in a single moment than I had before in years

I found a joy Id not imagined could exist for me.

I found I was not broken.

I saw that I could trust for no reason,

Or perhaps only because it felt correct.

Fear became acceptable,

It just seemed so much worth the risk.

But now I wonder if it was worth it.

If it was worth the discovery of my ability to become attached to someone,

Only to find that he does not share these same wondrous emotions.

To find that I am so invaluable to you as to warrant not even friendship.

To desire so much the beauty of your presence, and find my own scorned.

To think of you even now,

After as much time as Ive known you has passed once more.

To still feel your heat inside of me.

To see you so regularly in my dreams at night,

To know your face each time I close my eyes.

Is it worth that?

Is the enchantment of you, and the possibility of love...

Is it worth the torment of not being so in your eyes?

Is it worth knowing that my touch is not worth an effort?

That my voice does not burn you as yours burns me?

Is it worth knowing that the one man I wished to have enchanted...

Is not.

Loft -- 35mm color

Han Wu Shen

A perfect Date

As though the world were a perfectly round place, he kissed me.

Before I could stop myself from falling into his lips.

I Counted the moon and the stars as we shared laughter under the sun.

Drying tears of giggling mirth with warm rays of tenderness.

Every moment shone forth with an indescribable importance.

My heart fluttered to the smooth rhythm of his voice.

I Held on to him briefly as though he were my savior

And he clutched my body close to his as if I were home.

During all of our time the silence never grated.

Every breath was as pure and clear as his mind.

Great joy and light surrounded us as we held hands.

Beneath every shadow was treasure.

Only the night had to end at some point...

Lapsing time slipped by as elusive as hope.

And yet, I still find myself there with him sometimes.

Han Wu Shen

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
~Abraham Lincoln