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more of me

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don't cry in your sleep

Pieces of me

Pieces of me

Thats what I am.

Scattered fragment of what I might have been.

Crazily pasted,

Carelessly glued.

Like a tasteless collage in an unused room.

I am pointless.

I am empty.

Pieces of me.

Thats what you stole,

On more than one occasion.

You broke my tiny spirit into pieces...

Irreplaceable

I was,

Now I am not...

Pieces of me.

 

 

Here

Here.

The wind blows at night.

My windows shake and dance like the rhythm of my heart.

Here.

I pull my thin blanket up

To cover my face in the summer heat,

As if to hide myself

From some unseen monster I clearly hear.

Here.

I sing

Quietly...

So as not to wake the demon who hates the sound of song.

Here.

The rain falls gently,

As though in sympathy for the pain

I feel.

On Becoming Human

Through endless corridors I ran,

Like a demon without hope.

Never eluding the eyes that accused me at every turn.

I saw the heartbreak of every love I turned away.

The regret of every kiss I would soon forget.

The sudden bitterness that would glaze over

Once soft and carefree eyes.

And I wept like a summer storm

Fueled on by my guilty conscience.

I wept for the sweetness that Id so carelessly left behind.

For the beauty I never saw.

And for the promises that I so callously disregarded.

And I screamed at the cruelty of a God

Who would bestow me with such outward loveliness

But neglect to provide me with a heart.

With a God who would give me charm and playfulness

To disguise my icy soul.

So I ran through endless corridors,

Never escaping the banshee wails of the past.

I ran tearing at my hair

To contain myself from blasphemy.

I ran.

 

 



Fallen

Kill me

As I live

Help me

Purify my body

With the warm life

Of my blood

Help me

Find direction

I am so lost

Ive fallen once more.

 

Love You

I loved you

Then you killed me.

Stole my purity away

with one dark night.

Me so small

I cried all my tears away.

I hate you.

You killed me,

But left my body alive.

I love you.

I have to.

You made me

 

My Name Is Victim

I run away from life

Trying to find an answer... I am lost.

My soul was broken before I had the power to save myself.

My purity was stolen,

I was taught only pain.

The courts didnt even care.

What was I?

Just one of hundreds, a child without a name.

Dime a dozen...

So I grew up scared to death.

Then it always had to happen.

Like as a child all I was good for was a fuck

or a feel, or a blow job.

Just good enough for the gratification of an erection.

No wonder Im so fucked up now.

Even after the hospital

Just too broken to fix.

No glue strong enough for me!

Even now it happens so much.

So many animals.

Can you wonder that I dont trust anyone?

I cant even trust myself,

I lose so much time...

And when I dont want... They touch me.

Tell me what I dont want to hear.

Is life all about a fuck?

 

 

Loneliness

Loneliness embraces me like a once forgotten lover.

He caresses my breast with familiar comfort.

He holds me close.

And I run...

I run to the past.

The days when this or that lover

Held me in much the same way.

When they spoke my name like a blessing,

Or stared into my eyes in surprise.

I run to the beauty waiting within each of them.

Waiting for my patient exploration and discovery.

I run,

To the sweet smiles that we shared.

To the comfort we knew.

The passion...

Ah, the passion like a summer storm in the valley.

The passion that would grip us and

Hold us...

Until we could not think of life.

Now.

I have loneliness

With his Dark smile and his cold embrace.

He so tenderly touches me.

Almost as though to ease my sorrow.

 

Real

He touches me

In places I never knew I had.

He makes me smile

In my sleep.

He moves me

To tears of happiness.

He makes me feel

Real.