Fill my head with bubblebath
Home | Sweetness and Light | come look inside my mind | more of me | Forgetting Forgotten Lovers | Divine Inspiration or Some Such Madness | to flee this world | Great Words | such beauty | find me here

Awaiting the future?

For the past has left me behind

Self Portrait

December 26, 2005:  Melancholy has come late this year.  I actually thought I had escaped his sticky hands and chilly kiss, but here he is to grasp me tightly in his embrace even as I kick and scream in the dream of kinder, gentler, days.  Iknow, I know, I have long neglected my little web site.  I have a hundred excuses to offer you but the most honest is that I need to have the inspiration of great passion or despair in order to write out the jumble of thoughts in my head and I was, for more than the last year, on a mood stabilizer (which incidentally worked very well) and did not experience my normal extemes of emotional states. Not to worry though, I have discontinued the use of medications because I came to the conclusion that it is better to live fully even if it is sometimes unbearable than to live half-way in a colorless life of grays.  I actually came to find out and listen to the stories of many artists who began treatment for their melancholy only to find that it leached every last speck of inspiration from their soul... I shall post some links for all of you artists out there who are like me in this.
Good news all!  I Think I may have met a wonderful man!  Well almost met.  I will meet him tommorow night and I am very excited as he seems to be... amazing.  I only wish I would have met him in the spring, or maybe in September when I was not sliding into this depression. Oh well, perhaps he will understand the sadness of winter.

Salon Discussion on Antidepressants and artists

Creativity and Depression

Under the Rope
April 2005

Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.  -- Oscar Wilde